Politicians will respect homophones

I know, I abandoned this blog for a long while. This was partly due to time constraints, but also because ... I got a little tired. Bored. Jaded.

I mean, how many times can one comment on poor grammar and egregious typos before one becomes weary? Especially in this heat?

(Sighs, picks up fan, listlessly waves it in general direction of face.)

But then someone gave me a reason to come back.

Guy Glodis.

I'll be honest, I really hadn't given much thought to Guy Glodis. I was aware he was running for political office because some of my neighbors have big GLODIS signs in their yards, but otherwise I knew nothing of the man.

Today, this came in the mail.



I may not know much about politics, but I do know a thing or two about homophones. What Guy Glodis meant to say was that he would do this to financial improvidence:



What his brochure suggests, however, is a little more like this:



But wait; there's more.

On the back page of the brochure is a quote from Guy Glodis himself:



Popular opinion differs as to the correct use of the apostrophe to denote the possessive in words ending in "s"; however, the court of the Copyeditor General does not listen to popular opinion.

AP style says to "use only an apostrophe" and gives "Kansas' schools" as an example. More specific to Guy Glodis' (see what I did there?) employment goals is this helpful hint from the Mass.gov Style Guide:

Possessive
The possessive form for Massachusetts is Massachusetts'.

Copyeditor General's ruling: If Guy Glodis really wants to bring an end to governmental profligacy, he might want to start by asking someone to proof his glossy, four-color campaign materials before he sends them to the printer.

And meanwhile, he should listen to the Apostrophe Song.

Eels will not be party animals

Last week we went to the New England Aquarium, whose main attraction is the four-story tropical ocean tank, in which swim turtles, sharks, sting rays and all manner of brightly colored fish.

And also this:



Handsome fella, no? He's a moray, and there are two, or maybe three, in the tank. I'm not quite sure of the exact number because we never saw them together; they seemed to be solitary creatures.

Which is why I was surprised to find this:



and this:



and this:



and this:



All of which lead me to believe that the morays we saw were just spending a little alone time before getting together for a rousing game of bridge.

Copyeditor General's ruling: Another case of those darned confusing homophones, which we've covered here before. My instinct is to blame the blessing/curse of the Internets, where anyone can post anything without going through an editorial gatekeeper.

But not this time. All the above came from books. Actual, real, printed (and allegedly edited and proofread) books. You can see a few dozen more examples here. Shocking!

The word for the rules and social customs of a culture, while pronounced with two syllables, is spelled mores. But:

If you see a big eel
And its face makes you squeal
That's a moray.

(Sorry.)

Responses will be sought legitimately

Looky looky: another example of a misheard phrase, the perpetrators evidently never having seen the correct form in writing.

From the District of Columbia's Office of Planning:



From a workshop handout for "experienced educators":



From a junior high school newsletter (!):



From the bio of a college professor (!!):



From (oh, you'll love this) the site of a professional copywriter:



And finally, my favorite, if only because the woman looks as though she has an illicit response in mind:



Copyeditor General's ruling: Homophones can be tricky beasts, it's true. But at the same time, shouldn't context be a clue? The above examples suggest not only that the writers aren't aware of the correct word but also that they don't understand the meaning of "illicit." Or perhaps they do know what it means, but somehow assume it takes on an entirely different meaning in this situation. Either way, they're wrong.

Wrong wrong wrong.

Could I possibly be more explicit?