Promises, not things, will be kept

More fun with fortune cookies:



Copyeditor General's ruling: I hereby promise everyone five bucks and nice piece of chocolate cake.

Surrogates will not be dipped in soy sauce

Last week's dinner at Royal East, venerable Cambridge Chinese restaurant, yielded this wise warning:



Yep, I have no idea what it means, either.

On a vaguely cuisine-related note--though admittedly accidental--we find this priceless example of Words Heard But Never Seen, from Slate's presidential-race blog post about Geraldine Ferarro's resignation from the Clinton campaign:



Copyeditor General's ruling: If wonton surrogates have to go, they should be replaced by scallion pancake surrogates. Or perhaps bloggers with a better grasp of linguistic subtleties.

**Update: Someone's paying attention over at Slate--the error is fixed, and respect duly given. Thanks for the love, kids!

Fortune cookies will not need to be told twice

Oh, come on! Is someone trying to tell me something?



Copyeditor General's ruling: Actually, blind stubbornness seems to be a prerequisite for holders of political office, doesn't it?

Fortune cookies will not pass judgement

Copyeditor General's ruling: Oh, you want nonverbal cues, pal? I'll give you nonverbal cues, all right!