But I only got as far as Spreadshirt. And then I had to stop. Because I was reminded of what's really important.
Um, what? Eisenhower was many things, but fashion designer was not one of his best-known traits. And while there is at least one example of a kid-size campaign shirt, I highly doubt that Ike's win over Adlai Stevenson in 1952 (not '53, Spreadshirt fact-checkers!) came down to little Billy's decision to wear it to the fishin' hole.
Okay, slight distraction. Back to the merch search. What, exactly, is Spreadshirt? Let's check their "About Us" page:
"Spreadshirt makes it possible for private and commercial internet site operators to market their homepages quickly, simply, and independently. Internet site operators can create an online shop with individually created products and connect it with their homepage within minutes."
Internet site operators? When was this written, 1996? And why are we only marketing the homepage? What are all the other pages on my site, electronic chopped liver?
"To operate a Spreadshirt shop, you just need Internet access, your own designs or logo, and to market your shop online."
Don't you love how easy it all sounds? Yep, just log on and use your in-depth knowledge of online marketing! Weren't we all born with that?
Okay, pop quiz: when you think about successful internet businesses, what names come to mind? Google, eBay, DoubleClick? Nay, I say thee! Nay!
"Spreadshirt is one of the most successful internet companies of the past few years."
Two hundred and fifty employees, they have! Look out, Yahoo!
From their mission statement:
"We want to build the best possible online create-buy-experience for everyone from Homer Simpson to Salvador Dalí."
Well, good luck with that. I hate to break it to you, Spreadshirt, but one is a cartoon character and the other left us in 1989. Neither will be ordering from you in the foreseeable future.
"We want to be a fun and inspiring place to work, where integrity, delivery, and innovation reigns."
Which one? If they all reign, they need a plural verb, dears.
"There is no limit to what your imigination can do."
True: there is no limit to what we can imigine.
Copyeditor General's ruling: I have nothing against Germans. Seriously, I don't: I studied the language for five years. I love their Riesling, their Stollen and the fact that The Hoff has somewhere else to go.
But the same goes for them as for the Japanese, Peruvian-Canadians, Texans and Steven Seagal: when your website is the face of your business, you need to make sure your content is flawless. If you're wrong about easily verifiable facts, and you don't check spelling, how well will you do with my order?
2 comments:
LOL, thanks for your comments!
I work for Spreadshirt and we will certainly take into account what has been suggested. Think of it that way: clumsy copy is also a good laugh! In the meantime, we will continue target marketing cartoon characters and dead artists. You never know who is at the other end ordering your stuff, do you..
Michael, you are of course correct: poor copy can be funny. I should have posted on engrish.com instead of here.
That is what you meant, right?
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